January 22nd, 2014
By Nigel Risner
Many goals are set – few are achieved.
Who will you be?
There are real goals and there are steps toward real goals. A goal will cause you to BE something more than you are now. Selling 10 cars this month is not a goal. Losing 50 pounds is not a goal. Loving your life in a log cabin in the mountains is a goal. Being a renowned expert on a specific subject is a goal. Feeling great about yourself wearing a bathing suit or a beautiful gown is a goal. Ask yourself “Who will I BE after I achieve this goal?” If the answer is someone you want to BE, then that is a goal.
Remember the magical Power of Three
Set no more than three goals at any one time. Research shows that the human mind can only focus on three things at a time.
There is a reason President Lincoln said “…if the people, by the people, for the people.” Daniel Webster said “Liberty and Union, now and forever, one and inseparable” and Winston Churchill said “Never give up, never ever give up; don’t ever give up.”
Faith, hope and charity – morning, afternoon and night. We humans think in sets of three. Use the power of three to your advantage in achieving your goals.
Be true to yourself.
Set goals that are totally yours – not goals someone else thinks you should achieve. If those around you think you should go to university, but all you think about is being a Hollywood stuntman, you will struggle to achieve the university goal and you will go after the stuntman goal with all the energy that you have.
Pave your path with stepping stones
Set mini-achievements for each step along the way to your big goals. Celebrate your mini-victories. Feel very, very good about yourself as often as you can (one step everyday for each big goal would be wonderful). See the progress toward your big goals and you will be strongly motivated to take the next step along the path.
Stay in control of your destiny
Set steps that you can control. If you want to sell 10 houses each month to reach your goal of being in a beautiful home in the mountains, then your stepping-stone will be to mail 25 introduction letters every week, get five referrals from past clients every week and write a weekly column in the newspaper. Those are steps you can control.
Set goals that make you want to jump out of bed in the morning! Or – find a reason to become on fire about them. Oprah recently presented a show with several people who had lost over 150 pounds. They all said the same thing. Yes, they had tried every diet known to man. No, none of them had worked. BUT, when a Doctor told each of them that their health was in definite danger AND when they had a reason to keep living (seeing their grandchildren grow-up, giving their daughter away at her wedding, etc.), ONLY THEN did they have the burning desire (passion) to achieve their goal of losing weight. They had a reason to BE alive.
Become Alexander the Great
Set goals that improve your strengths. Improving your weaknesses only brings you up to mediocrity! One of the most popular books on management of recent years is entitled “Now, Discover your Strengths.”
This book says “…guided by our parents, by our teachers, by our managers and by our psychologists fascination with pathology, we become experts in our weaknesses and spend our lives trying to repair these flaws, while our strengths lie dormant and neglected.”
What an unhappy and mediocre life that is. Concentrate on improving your strengths so you will be great … not mediocre.
Just Say NO
Having passionate, true-to-yourself goals make decision-making easy. If saying “yes” does not move you toward the achievement of one of your goals, then just say “no”. Why would you spend time and energy on anything that does not move you toward your big goals.”
Keep the psychic vampires away
Spend your time around people who support you and love you unconditionally. Stay away from the vampires who suck the life-blood out of you. They weaken your foundation and cause you to lose energy and commitment. Remember – this is who you deeply want to BE, and that is very valuable to you. Don’t let anyone keep you from Being who you want to be!
Get rid of clutter
Eliminate the mess from your life – and do it again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. Just as psychic vampires suck your confidence, mess saps your energy. You spend time and emotions and energy dealing with mess. It drains you. Get rid of it. Then you will have lots of time and energy to put into achieving your goals.
You know what the mess in your life is. It’s the clutter on your desk; the shoes that don’t match your best suit; the garage that is too full of stuff for the car to fit in; the neighbour’s dog(s); your ex-spouse; the pencil sharpener that is always upstairs when you need it downstairs. Every time you feel mess in your life go to the outhouse and get rid of it.
Even David Beckham works with a great coach
(I know, this is no.11 on a Top Ten list, but I like to deliver more than you expect!) A Coach helps you define your strengths, helps you set passionate and true-to-yourself goals, helps you focus on the three stepping stones for today and helps you say no. A coach helps you keep the psychic vampires away and get rid of the mess in your life. In other words, a coach helps you become who you really want to BE.
A one-time Academy for Chief Executives Speaker of the Year, Nigel Risner is an author, television presenter and a prolific speaker. He speaks with authority: his own life having veered perilously away from comfortable norms at times. He has learned that positive results can come from negative experiences, and that we often learn best from situations which are unfamiliar and even uncomfortable.
His books include “You had me at Hello” – the new rules for better networking – and “It’s a zoo around here” – the new rules for better communication His latest book The IMPACT Code is setting a new standard for self-help guides…this one actually works!
Hedge image: shutterstock.com